A Reformed minister of tender years was once called upon to deliver a sermon on “Apostasy” from the sixth chapter of the book of Hebrews. Since he had not yet taken the required course from Westminster Best on how to successfully dodge such texts—B&W 101 (Bobbing & Weaving)—he did his best not to act like a Democrat who had unexpectedly been handed a copy of the Constitution. Unfortunately, he was quite unsuccessful in this attempt; he defined when he should have dodged and exhorted when he should have equivocated. Upon learning that his hearers went away both deeply convicted and greatly comforted, the Presbytery brought him up on charges for “teaching that which is not in conformity to the Westminster Standard-bearers.”
There once was a parson given to arson,
This was the cause of much ire.
If bridges weren’t smoking you’d find him stoking,
The smallest sparks into fire.
He burned all his members to tiny embers,
“Perhaps they’ll come forth as gold.”
Though he kept heaping coals upon those poor souls,
They perished; dried up and cold.